You probably haven’t noticed, but it’s been quite some time since I’ve blogged. Truth is, I’ve been avoiding you.
I hurt. My back hurts, and it just keeps hurting (with tantalizing days when it doesn’t and I try to do too much). It hasn’t been that long, in the grand scheme of injuries, but I’m going to tell you how I feel right now. My heart hurts.
I feel like it’s unfair, so unfair. I can’t run, I can’t line dance, I can’t Zumba. For the first time in my life I was getting proud of my strength and fitness level and now I’ve got nothing.
What sucks about that is, at this point, while I can’t exercise, I’m finding it very, very hard to care about eating right and the other aspects I could have control over. Just now, when my calorie intake becomes even more important because I really have no means of exercising, I feel so depressed about not being able to exercise that I start to get all “what’s the friggin’ point? Pass me the cheese fries.” This isn’t good, I know this isn’t good. I can’t seem to stop it. I feel helpless, and out of control and that makes me want to eat. I’ve always been an emotional eater, as well as someone who eats when she is bored and HELLO? I’m emotional and bored.
Today I signed up for a 5K on May 5th, since the one I was supposed to have run on April 21 has been cancelled, and I probably couldn’t manage it by then anyway with this blasted injury. But with the help of my chiropractor, I’m going to assume that May 5th is a good possibility. Truthfully, I’m going to do that race if I have to crawl it. And the chiro said tomorrow morning I can try 3 on 3 off intervals if I think I can handle it, but not even to try if it was still really tweaking.
Sigh. Sorry, I’m not faking it very well just now.